Just A Dream
by Strawberrysun
Summary: Set four years after graduation. When Chloe is diagnosed with schizophrenia, and sent off to a mental health clinic for a three month recovery program, how will Beca cope without her girlfriend, and will Chloe be the same when she is released? Bechloe love story - Mitchsen friendship - Chaubrey friendship. This is my first fanfiction! Possible trigger warnings. (May be M later on)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey this is my first fanfiction! It's not great but I think it's ok. Please review and let me know what you think, and maybe what you want to see in coming chapters. Thank you!**

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It didn't start off as much. It was just a slip up - she was mad that she had missed her homework assignment deadline. Her therapist had told her many times that it was normal to make mistakes, and not to worry - everyone made mistakes. So she didn't worry, but she also didn't tell Beca. She didn't want her girlfriend to fuss. Besides, she didn't have any reason to - it was just a mistake.

The next day, however, brought with it another 'mistake' - this time she had been cross at herself for forgetting Bellas rehearsal. Again, she thought nothing of it. Well, a little more than nothing - she debated on calling her therapist Louise, but in the end decided that it would be ok. It was just a mistake.

The third day it happened - because some bitch in her physics class made a homophobic comment - doubt filled her mind. Three times. Who makes a mistake three times? She didn't want to go back there again, where it wasn't just mistakes, but it was her life. Trying to put the doubt out of her mind, she did it again. Why? She couldn't tell you any reason why, by that time she was too scared to admit it. Four times in three days, after being clean for six weeks. That wouldn't sit well with Beca.

It was the sixth day when Beca noticed a change in her girlfriend. She was wearing long sleeved tops again, and Chloe had worn short sleeves with pride for the six weeks she had been clean. She was also more distant, and had declined Beca's several offers to watch a movie (despite knowing of the younger girl's pure hatred for them, and how it was such a rare offer) and said she wanted an early night. Beca was uncertain whether to bring it up, not wanting to upset her girlfriend after making such an amazing recovery. So, she turned to Aubrey.

"Long sleeves again, Bree, and she's been really distant. I don't know whether to ask her or not." Beca told her friend anxiously over the phone, feeling herself on the verge of tears. Aubrey fell into a thoughtful silence for a few moments.

"Ask her, Beca." She said eventually. "If she is cutting again, it has to be stopped before it gets out of hand… Again."

So she did. Friday evening - the seventh day of Chloe's 'mistakes' - found the two girls cuddled up on the sofa, Chloe's head resting on Beca's stomach, watching a 'Friends' marathon. Chloe wasn't watching, she was too focused on relishing in the sting from the fresh cuts under her Barden University sweater, sliced into her wrists just an hour ago, a few minutes before Beca came home.

Beca could sense her girlfriend's stress and worry, so she paused the show. It took Chloe a few moments to realise, and then she looked up at Beca. "What's up?" She asked Beca quietly.

Beca sighed, sitting up. "I wanted to ask you the same question." She told Chloe.

Chloe froze. _What? Had Beca somehow… Noticed her cuts? No… She'd been too careful._

Beca reached out and placed a gentle hand on her girlfriend's shoulder, making her flinch under the touch. "Baby, you've been a little checked out recently. What's on your mind?"

Chloe shook her head quickly, forcing a smile onto her face. "Nothing! I'm fine!" She assured Beca a little too eagerly.

Beca raised an eyebrow. "Would you mind taking your sweater off for me then?" She asked. Fear immediately flashed across Chloe's face.

"No, Beca…" She whispered fearfully.

Beca was filled with dread as her suspicions were confirmed. "Chlo, baby, have you… Have you been cutting again?" She asked carefully.

Chloe shook her head, in a last weak attempt to save herself. "No." She whimpered, her voice panicked.

"Take your sweater off then." Beca told her firmly.

Chloe's eyes sparkled with tears. "Beca, don't please…" She begged.

"Why not, Chloe? If you haven't been cutting then you won't have a problem with taking your sweater off!" Beca told her firmly.

"No." Chloe told her, the anger obvious. "Leave me alone."

"No, Chloe. If you haven't been cutting then take your sweater off and prove it to me." Beca told her.

Chloe suddenly stood up, her fists clenched. "Just fuck off, it's none of your business!" She yelled, and she ran into the bathroom, slamming the door shut and locking it.

Beca felt dread wash over her. Chloe was in the bathroom… With both of their razors. Fuck.

She ran over to the door. "Chlo, baby, I'm sorry. It's ok, just come out and we can talk." Beca called out gently.

"Leave me alone, Beca, I don't want to talk to you." Chloe answered. Beca felt a pang of hurt, but pushed it away. Chloe's safety was more important.

She bit her lip. "Sweetie, have you got your razor in there with you?" She asked cautiously.

There was no answer.

"Chlo?"

"FUCK OFF, BECA!" She yelled, and it was obvious that she was crying.

Beca grabbed her phone from the sideboard and dialled Aubrey's number. "Aubrey, please come quickly." She whispered into the phone.

"Why? What's the matter?" Aubrey asked quickly.

"It's Chloe. She's angry. She shut herself in the bathroom and both of our razors are in there." Beca whispered.

"I'm five minutes away." Aubrey told her and hung up.

Three and a half minutes later, Aubrey was unlocking the door and rushed inside. She ran straight to the bathroom and knocked on the door lightly. "Go away Beca!" Chloe yelled.

Aubrey took a deep breath. "Chlo, it's me."

Chloe paused. "Aubrey?"

"Yeah, sweetie. Can I come in?" She asked gently.

"And you're not here to yell at me?" Chloe asked timidly.

"No honey."

There were soft footsteps, and then the bolt slid over and Chloe quickly pulled Aubrey in, shutting the door. Beca felt hurt that Chloe hadn't wanted to let her in, but she knew she'd angered her girlfriend and shouldn't be surprised.

"Hey, Chlo, sweetie, are you ok?" Aubrey asked the redhead gently, until she caught sight of the blood covered razor on the sink. Her jaw dropped. "Chloe…"

Chloe stepped backwards, a tear falling down her face, and leant against the wall. She was clutching her right wrist as she focused on the floor intently, not looking Aubrey in the eye.

"Chloe, let me see." Aubrey told her gently.

"You told me you weren't here to yell at me." Chloe whispered to her, her eyes wide.

"I'm not yelling at you, sweetie. I just want to make sure you're ok." Aubrey told her gently.

"Please leave." Chloe whimpered.

"I'm not leaving, honey. Now let me see." Aubrey told her calmly.

Chloe let out a ragged breath. "Bree, they told me to do it." Chloe whispered. Aubrey's eyes widened.

"What do you mean, honey? Who told you to do it?" She asked, slowly approaching Chloe.

Chloe began to tremble. "Th-they did Bree. I-I'm n-not crazy." She whispered. Aubrey felt her heart speeding up. _Delusions?_ "Th-they told m-me I am w-worthless a-a-and B-Beca doesn't r-really l-love me."

"Of course she loves you, sweetie. Don't panic. It's ok." Aubrey told her softly. "Can you look at me, Chloe, sweetie? Look at me."

Chloe couldn't look her in the eye, flinching away whenever she came close to it. _Unable to make eye contact - negative symptoms?_

"I'm going to let Beca in now. Is that ok?"

Chloe looked scared. "Don't hurt me. Please don't hurt me." She pleaded quietly.

Aubrey began to panic. What was happening to her best friend? "I'm not going to hurt you, sweetie. I would never hurt you, ok?" She told Chloe, sounding much calmer than she actually was.

Chloe nodded uncertainly, and slid down the wall so she was sat down, hugging her knees to her chest tightly, still trembling and crying. Aubrey opened the door and peered out.

"Beca, come in, but stay calm. She's really upset." Aubrey told the brunette quietly.

Beca made her way inside the small bathroom, panic rising inside her at the sight of her girlfriend. "Chlo, baby, are you ok?" She asked Chloe gently, moving closer to her.

Chloe shrunk away. "D-don't hurt me. P-please d-d-don't come n-near me." She whispered fearfully.

Beca was shocked and scared. What was happening to Chloe? "It's me, Beca. I'm not gonna hurt you baby. I would never hurt you." She told Chloe gently.

"P-please don't c-come n-near me." She cried, her voice getting more frantic, screaming and crying out.

"Bree?" Beca asked uncertainly. "Should we call 911?"

Aubrey hesitated. Wasn't it better to be safe than sorry? "Yeah. You call I'll keep her calm." She suggested. Beca agreed and rushed off quickly to grab her cellphone. She moved closer to Chloe, who was muttering incoherent words to herself, her head down. _Disorganised speech?_ "Hey, sweetie, how are you feeling?" She asked, her voice trembling.

Chloe looked up in fear. "I'm scared Bree," she whispered. "They won't shut up. I can't think Bree."

"What are they saying, Chlo?" Aubrey asked carefully.

"Beca doesn't love me. I'm not worth it. I should die. I'm a burden. Everyone just wants to hurt me." Chloe told Aubrey quietly.

Aubrey reached out and put a hand on Chloe's shoulder. Chloe screamed and whacked her arm away. "D-don't touch m-me! St-stay away. Please!" She screamed.

* * *

The next ten minutes waiting for the ambulance to come were the longest minutes of Aubrey and Beca's life, having to listen to Chloe screaming and crying and not being able to do anything. When the ambulance arrived, the paramedics slowly approached Chloe, and then had to restrain her as she attempted to hit, kick punch them away, screaming and crying. It broke Beca's heart, and she found herself crying too, Aubrey holding her tightly.

"We'll follow behind. You won't do much use in the ambulance with her, Becs." Aubrey told her gently. Beca agreed and they were soon at the hospital, sat in the waiting room - waiting.

"She was much better, Bree. She was almost back to normal. Clean for six weeks… But now she's gone back. It wasn't even like this before. It wasn't this bad." Beca told Aubrey quietly, her eyes fixed on the door of the consulting room Chloe was behind.

Aubrey bit her lip, uncertain how to comfort the girl. "Beca…" Just as she began, the door swung open, and a doctor stood there, concern etched on his face.

"Miss Chloe Beale?"


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hi guys. I found this chapter quite hard to write considering I don't know a lot about the condition. If I made a mistake, sorry… Please review and let me know what you think, and anything you might want to see in future chapters. Thank you for those who reviewed, it means a lot! Hope you enjoy it ;)**

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"… And I suspect she has schizophrenia." The doctor finished.

Beca let out a gasp, and her head whipped around to Chloe, who was sat, shaking, in the chair on the other side of the room. She looked like she was mumbling to herself, but no words could be heard.

Aubrey wasn't entirely surprised, she had picked up on a few of the symptoms and suspected so. She was a junior doctor after all.

"But… She was so much better…" Beca mumbled, a tear sliding down her face.

"She somehow managed to avoid experiencing the obvious symptoms of the condition for a while. However, it appears that, with her medical history of self harm and clinical depression, that she has had this quite a while, and her therapist or the doctor she usually sees should've spotted it." He informed her.

"How long will to take until you can know for sure what her condition is?" Aubrey asked calmly.

"Well… Here's the thing. I would like to refer her to a mental health clinic. I believe it can accommodate her current needs, better than you can at the minute." The doctor told them, a solemn expression on his face.

"What?!" Beca exclaimed. "You're just gonna lock her away?" She felt her heart pounding rapidly in her chest. Aubrey rested a hand on her back in an attempt to calm her.

"We see her as a threat to herself, and possibly others." The doctor explained. "And since she is in no fit state to make the decision for herself, it will have to be made for her. We need the written consent of her next of kin."

Beca's jaw dropped. "She is in no way a possible threat to others! She wouldn't hurt anyone. Ever." Beca felt tears beginning to fall down her face.

"I'm sorry Ms. Mitchell." The doctor said sadly.

"What are you just gonna tell her she's being sent away and locked up?" Beca snapped.

The doctor gave her a sympathetic look. "We think it would be better coming from someone she trusts." He nodded his head in her direction.

Beca shook her head in disbelief. "So you just wanna get us to do the dirty work for you?" She snapped.

"Beca, honey, don't you think she'd be less frightened if she found out from you, rather than a stranger that she doesn't know?" Aubrey asked her gently. "It's only for her benefit."

Beca nodded her head slowly, and stood up. She apprehensively made her way over to Chloe and knelt in front of her, placing a gentle hand on her knee. "Hey, baby. How are you feeling?" She asked softly.

Chloe looked up at her and Beca could see her eyes were full of tears. "Beca?" She asked almost cautiously.

"Yeah it's me, love." Beca offered a small smile.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you earlier. I… I don't know what happened." Chloe's voice was laced with fear, and she was trembling a little as she spoke.

"It's ok. I understand." Beca told her gently.

"I love you Beca." Chloe told her, pulling the smaller girl into a hug.

Beca smiled and stroked her hair. "I love you too, Chlo."

"I'm scared Beca. What's gonna happen?" Chloe asked in a small voice.

Beca paused, and pulled away from Chloe, cupping her face in her hands. "Chlo, you are the strongest, bravest person I know, and no matter what happens, you are going to get through this, ok? But, in order for you to get better, you… You have to get some proper help, ok? And… The doctor wants to refer you to a mental health clinic that will help you get better." Beca told Chloe gently, her voice wavering.

Chloe looked a little sad for a minute, but then looked back at Beca. "What's wrong with me, then?" She asked.

"Well… The doctor thinks you have schizophrenia." Beca told her, wiping a tear from Chloe's face that the girl didn't know had fallen. "But you will get through this, love. _We_ will get through this. I promise." Beca told her, hugging her tightly again. And all Chloe could do was sit there in her girlfriend's arms and try not to listen to the voices telling her Beca deserved better.

* * *

Chloe's parents had arrived an hour ago, and her mom had broken down seeing her daughter so vulnerable in the hospital bed she had been temporarily place in. Beca had clung to her girlfriend's hand the whole time, trying to reassure Chloe that it would be ok. But she wasn't sure if it would be. Aubrey sat on the other side of Chloe. She understood the condition better than the others, being a doctor, and could see Chloe's panic when the doctor came in and said he wanted to speak to her about the clinic.

"Chloe, sweetie, it's ok. Just breathe." Aubrey whispered to her best friend gently. This seemed to considerably calm Chloe, knowing that Aubrey understood how she felt, and she relaxed a little. It was obvious she wasn't listening as the doctor spoke, but Chloe's parents, Beca and Aubrey all were, occasionally asking questions.

"Are there visiting days?" Beca asked quietly.

The doctor looked a little hesitant. "It depends how her diagnosis comes back. While we are analysing her condition - which will take about a month - no visitors allowed. And after that, it depends on what her diagnosis is." He told them.

"And if it _is_ schizophrenia like you think?" Beca asked.

The doctor sighed. "Then you won't be able to visit her. It is believed that it will set her back to be reminded of home while she is on the recovery program."

"What exactly will this recovery program do to help her?" Aubrey asked. "I know that there's no cure for schizophrenia, but significant recovery is possible with the right counselling and medicine so… What will it do?"

The doctor nodded. "You are a doctor?" He asked Aubrey. She nodded. "Ok, well, in simple terms, the program will provide her with the right medicine that can help reduce the severity of her symptoms and significantly reduce the likelihood of an episode. Because we will be giving her these drugs, she will have to be monitored for the first few months. So we expect her stay to only be three months, or so. Also she will have a one-to-one councillor, that is available to talk to her twenty-four seven." The doctor explained.

"So I won't be able to see her for three months?" Beca asked quietly. Chloe's mom and dad looked over at her with a pitiful glance.

"Probably not. I'm sorry," the doctor answered, giving her a sympathetic look.

Beca stood up abruptly. "Excuse me." She managed to say, and then she ran out of Chloe's room to the bathroom.

"I'll go." Aubrey sighed, following after her. She walked into the bathroom, to find Beca throwing up down the toilet in one of the stalls. She sighed sadly, and held Beca's hair back while she emptied the contents of her stomach into the toilet bowl.

"Hey, that's my job." Aubrey joked when Beca was done. Beca offered a weak smile, before collapsing into Aubrey's arms. Aubrey rubbed her back gently as she cried. God this was going to be a long three months.

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"You'll be fine, sweetie, ok? We will see you in three months. You're so strong, Chlo." Aubrey whispered, hugging her best friend tightly, allowing a few tears to slide down her face.

"I love you Bree." Chloe smiled as she hugged Aubrey back. It was all Aubrey could do not to break down, so she just bit her lip and nodded, moving away from Chloe to allow Beca to say goodbye.

Beca was already close to tears, and seeing Chloe looking so lost and vulnerable almost broke the barrier holding back her internal breakdown. Almost.

"The time will go by quickly, my love. You'll be home soon." Beca said, but to be honest it was more for her benefit than Chloe's.

"And you'll come visit me?" Chloe asked, tears filling her sky blue eyes.

Beca hesitated, leaning forward and giving her a gentle, loving kiss. "Maybe, bug, maybe." She told her softly.

Aubrey had tears in her eyes as she watched the exchange, knowing that the next three months were going to be hell for Beca. She could see how the smaller girl was biting her lip to stop the tears falling in front of Chloe. She was always strong in front of Chloe.

"I love you, bug. So much. You're gonna get through this, because you are the strongest person I know, ok? You're gonna get through this." Beca told Chloe, cupping her face gently and wiping her tears. "I'll see you in three months, ok, my love?"

"I love you too, Becs." Chloe told her softly, pulling Beca in for a final kiss, before turning to say goodbye to her parents.

Beca walked over to Aubrey. "Can we go now?" She asked quietly, her voice wavering. She wanted to get away from Chloe before she allowed herself to cry - knowing that if she broke down now, she would cling to her girlfriend and never let go.

Aubrey wanted to hug Beca and tell her it would be ok, but she could tell the girl was on the edge, and that would just push her over. "Ok." Was all she said, and she led the way to her car.

Her and Beca climbed into the car and she began to drive, not looking over at Beca, knowing she'd want space. Then she heard a small whimper and dared a glance over to see Beca crying. Silent tears sliding down her face, her eyes squeezed shut, her knees brought up to her chest.

Aubrey sighed sadly and turned her attention back to the road. The whole way home, all she could think was; _why Chloe? Why did it have to be Chloe?_


End file.
